The Hack of Co-Coaching

 if-youd-listen-id-speak-upSource: Dharma Comics

It sure as hell got me curious to the hilt, when I heard this term from Shiva and Som that there is a person called Kiran who practices something called as co-coaching. The skeptic in me shot up to the surface and spoke, no way this must be just another “jargon” or a fancy name for coaching that he must be throwing around and has built a USP around coaching for himself.

To my dismay when I first experienced this paradigm with Kiran. I found it to be the one of the most liberating experiences in my life. I call it truly the ‘Art’ of having a conscious conversation with another human – soul to soul. No judgments, no one here to take on the role of an adviser. Even the coach and the person being coached disappear into the process and make space for a “togetherness” to emerge. That day, I went into the process with a curiosity to find out what it was and nothing else. Maybe that was what was required in the first place! Soon, there was no Bharath and Kiran there were just two people conversing and the truest wisdom that is omniscient in all of us – emerged and guided the process ahead. It is a process that has 3 stages –

1 – 10 minutes of Questions and Silence mixed together.

2 – 10 minutes of an honest conversation between what emerged in the last 10 minutes.

3 – 10 minutes of a together “wondering” to see if there were any insights that are emerging as a result of the process and also looking at the process itself.

That’s it – as simple as 1, 2, and 3.

It can challenge what most of us have heard or experienced about Coaching. Is it really possible to coach in just 10 minutes? Normally coaches typically take an hour, sometimes many such sessions… So what could possibly happen in a mere 10 minutes? You might ask? – Just as I began an inquiry with myself.

The simple answer is this:

Through the power of Silence and Questions, I found that it is possible to go beyond time! And access a space and a potential which is normally lost to us in the noise of the daily life and mind.

When I brought a bit of Silence into my own daily conversations, the power of listening and questioning born of that, allowed a lot to happen! Often I have been baffled by what becomes possible ever since I started to experience and practice this method. I remember instances of people breaking down out of certain realizations, people suddenly feeling light as if a huge burden was lifted from their shoulders, a transformation in which both the coach and the person being coached experiences a state shift. I suspect what becomes available is the power of being, the invitation of silence. Silence, when used consciously blows the mind away. Maybe, so far in my life I have perceived Silence to be something that I need to use but I guess the deeper insight from my experiences so far has been to let myself be used by it. It has helped me evoke, provoke and above all invoke my essence.

The nature of life is such that often the issue/ challenge that the people come with inevitably mirror something that the coach has either walked through deeply or to a fair degree of depth and is currently grappling with. This makes it very real.

Both come in touch with how time is actually non-linear. We have all seen that often more gets done in an hour than in a whole day, which clearly shows it’s not just about time but the quality of presence we bring to that time.

As my mentor Kiran says:

“It is about discovering and accessing intuition. The resolution can be ‘received’ instead of being ‘thought through’ or analyzed through ‘Problem solving’. Often what results is Problem dissolving’! The process of ‘Creating’ becomes available in which there is no problem. Everything that emerges is honored. “

P.S. This is something anybody can try and be baffled by what they will eventually discover. It can be done anytime, anywhere, anyplace. A very simple no-constraint process. 🙂